Thursday, September 19, 2013

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Round Table Discussion: Submission

Submission. Three simple syllables which slip off your tongue. A simple word with a simple definition.

(v) the act of submitting fully mentally, physically, spiritually, and sexually

"No!" Oh? You say submission is a noun. I looked it up on Google! Yes, but this is my definition because to actively submit in all of those forms is a challenge. An action word is a verb, so ha! In order to keep myself in a submissive mindset to fully give to my spouse I constantly am pushing the boundary. Pushing! This is another action word. Are we on the same page now?

I started out as this sugary sweet little vanilla chick who knew she had a darker side without knowing how to embrace it. My mind was blown wide open by my spouse, whom I dated several years before we got married, and forever whet my appetite for all things kinky, spicy, sexual, and the deep need to be taken over by him in the best way you can imagine. Okay, well depending on where you fall along the kinky meter you may not be able to quite imagine it.

Close your eyes. Of course, you have a point. If you close them you cannot continue reading. I’ll paint the picture. Imagine right now someone you love on every level you know has placed you on your knees in front of him/her. You are completely clothed and yet in this position you feel naked from the intense stare he/she is probing you with. You feel completely safe there and completely turned on at the same time. Your eyes well up with tears as he/she kisses you softly on the forehead as if you are the most precious gift he/she has ever received and all you want to do is please.

This was me but only in the bedroom. Once I got up off my knees and stepped boldly over the threshold I became utterly dominant again. I did not want anyone to tell me what to do or what decisions to make or how to do anything. I was constantly in a bad mood and longing so badly for something. Something I could not put my finger on.

Fast forward several years and children later. I slipped into some very bad places over the years and still struggle with many different demons but then I literally stumbled upon a website. Are you laughing? I used stumble because if you knew me in person you would see what a klutz I am. I would probably spill something on my blog if it was not a website. So, this website talked about a spouse disciplining his partner.

"WHAT?" My kinky side roared…wait....I’m not doing the inner goddess thing, trust me. Let’s re-word, shall we?  The sexy, submissive in me perked up at the idea of being spanked. The bratty child side to me who literally never had any discipline at all rubbed her hind in a mixture of wonder and fear of what this punishment could mean for her. There was also another side, (bear with me I know I sound off, I am a writer you know), that desperately wanted to be taken care of and submit in every way possible both inside and outside of the bedroom.

Again, bear with me, I know the sides are a lot to understand but they have all come together to form one little me who has come to the conclusion of wanting to be a good submissive all the time. I want my spouse to take me over his knee if I break our defined rules. I want him to put me in the corner if I act out like a spoiled child, even if the situation is stressful. I also ache at the idea of being restrained physically and beg him to do whatever he wanted to me. He completes and compliments me in so many ways. I want to belong to him as much as he longs for me to be independent and still submit.

Confused? So he is my dominant. Oh? What? I didn't capitalize DOMINANT? Submission is completely different to every single person on the planet. If I walked around and corrected people who say being submissive is solely for the BDSM crowd or the D/s crowd or the F/m crowd then I would forever say it.  Your definition of submission is not wrong or the right. It is yours. Embrace it for whatever it holds and means to you Umm, you’re squishing me. I’m very affectionate but I didn't mean to embrace me and hold me. *blush* Glad we established boundaries.

I’m submissive to my spouse but it does not make me dependent. I do struggle at times to remain as such but I am truly happier this way. Life is just too short to live it the way other people dictate. 

I’m missing something? Oh good, I’m glad one of us stayed on topic. Yes, I forgot to go into the spiritual side of submission. I believe in a higher power and someday we can talk about religion but I mean this in more of a faith/karma thing. I believe actions cause reactions and positive outlook receives positive benefits. This is more about my outlook on things but plays into the overall piece. I trust my spouse will do the best for me and encourage me to be the best I can be to benefit our relationship.

You were hoping maybe for some juicy details about the earlier picture I suppose? I will say my favorite place to be utterly his is in our bedroom. Let your imagination run. If you've thought it I probably have done it at least twice, once to see if I like it, and once to make sure. Though we all like our twists and kinks slightly different so maybe not. *grin*

I'll close this up with one thought,"It is your life and you deserve to live it the way you want no matter what anyone else thinks or says." As long as you are being true to yourself everything else falls in place.

I would love to hear feedback and answer questions! Leave a comment below or email me at:

Thank you for stopping by. Please go visit the main page for all of the wonderful blogs participating in this week’s round table.



  1. Nice post Addy. So you were a sweet innocent thing once??? ;) Interesting how you knew you had a dark side but didn't know how to embrace it. I feel like I just figured it out or at least narrowed it down a bit myself. and I agree- submission is a verb.

  2. What a great post. I have to agree it is different for everyone, and none the less valid however you choose to live it out. If it brings happiness and closeness in a relationship that's gotta be good, what ever way it works for the couple

  3. What a nice reflection on your submission, Adaline. I especially liked what you said at the end of your post. The thought about being true to yourself, and then everything else falls into place. That is so very, very, true.

  4. Now Adaline, you have come to many of us who now call you a dear friend with the pre-texted name "Bratty Adaline." That alone says so much about your loving and adoring embrace of this sensual life and style we are talking about around the table here today.

    I loved the story of your personal journey here and your evolving awareness that traveled along on your submissive yearnings for this lifestyle. And like some of the other comments here I would totally agree that being true to yourself is one of the utmost foundations in forming and finding the life-style space that governs it all...

  5. So much incredible, real, & important information covered in one post!

    I'm sorry I squished you in my zeal to embrace what this submission thing means to me! I had to embrace someone; Jeff's at work after all! ;)

    You are so right. We are all different. This journey looks differently to each one of us and possibly even for ourselves at different stages of the game. The important thing is honoring ourselves & our partner in all that we do.

  6. Great post, Addy!

    I agree about the "being true to yourself" thing, so whole heartedly!
    And you are right about it all being so different. There is no one right way for any of this.

    But it all depends on our valid self, our trust, our relationship with our significant other...

    Love the bratting side too!
    Great job !

  7. Great post, Addy-- you are absolutely right about it being a unique journey for each of us.

  8. nods... I'll say it again :) yes, I love your comment about submission being individual for all of us. I'm so glad over the years, I've mostly taken to heart being the submissive my Master wants- not what some book says :D. Fascinating to read the journey you went on, Addy, becoming a person you don't like and submission to your dominant has helped you to be more what you want.

  9. Addy! I love that your blog posts sound like you are sitting with me in my living room. You have such a great voice :)

    Thanks for opening up and sharing your journey, I love seeing what submission means to everyone. The funny thing is while it all seems to be a little varied, in a way, it is all kind of the same. Something that comes from within...

    That was my deep thought for the day- and you got it- you're welcome!

  10. Addy, I love you. Just SO cute! <3 <3

    Such a great post, full of heart and soul and honesty and sweetness - I can totally relate to so much of what you say. I'm torn as to which specific bit to quote and comment on, as there is so much in there that I just want to say "Yes!" to.

    I figure I could do a lot worse than say that your closing thought really touched me. "It is your life and you deserve to live it the way you want no matter what anyone else thinks or says." A beautiful, important thing to remember.

  11. This is a great post, I love it! You're so right about it being unique and different for everyone. At the same time though, we all have that little something in common, and I love that!


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